rae-of-dark-light

You had me blinded By love Love that you cultivated You worked so hard For me not to see it But you fucked up You left me stranded Brokenhearted And now I can see See through your deception You are not what you Lead me to believe And now your lies won't work Not on me, not anymore You had me on a short leash With your lies and your words A leash so short I couldn't move I lost me friends, I lost my worth I was dying inside And now I And now I see See through your deception Your are not what you Lead me to believe And now your lies won't work Not on me, not anymore Now I'm free Now I can breathe I found me friends

Red-hot Boiling Vision growing black Fists clenching Nails digging in Breath shaking Muscles tensing Stomach starting to cramp Rage is growing All other emotions paling Can't contain it Don't want to try The anger keeps me warm Even on the coldest nights The urge to strike grows Causing other to hurt To hurt like I do It doesn't seem fair That others are happy That the world kelpt spinning While mine fell apart But they don;t know Or they don't care That my life was shattered That the world should have come To a sudden, screeching halt So my anger just keeps building Always just below the surface Need to find a way

Its eats at my heart And saps at my soul This saddness, depression My self-loathing I long to see my blood flowing Down my skin Tickling its way along Thin, bright red lines Runnels of deep, almost black color On my sides Away from sight Hidden It feels so good The pain does Turns to pleasure And makes me shiver Shame sets in And feeds the loathing Which twistedly Makes the knife Seem all the more appealing An endless cycle It never quits All life's hurts Just make it worse Or would that be better When the knife starts slicing Once again Causing that red, Red flow And scars remind me Of that pain So I never can

Looking at your faces Fills me full of joy Even though its only a picture The best parts of my week Are when I get to see you When I get to hold Your tiny little hands My heart is full to bursting You heal me best of all My smile is big and bright When you two fill my thoughts My sweet, tiny little Anna The biggest little fighter Full of life With the hardest part behind My happy, beautiful Mikki You chug just right along Looking at life with new eyes Your smile is best of all I love you two My two little miracles The best things in the world

I hate you But I love you And I can't seem to quit These feelings tear me up inside Rip me apart bit-by-bit Your face haunts my dreams at night Your voice is in my heart I wish we could Go back to the way we were I never want to see you again I thought you were my forever I know it was a lie The last words you said to me Can still cause me to cry Its been almost a year And my finger still feels bare When I start to think of you I force myself to anger Just so I won't fall My heart still races at your name Is it the hate Or is it because I still do care I can't tell I see you in our children The picture of our son And

My heart was broken My soul had shattered And I didn't know How to pull myself Back together I needed someone to help me To help me smile To make me laugh Or just hold me close But there wasn't anyone I looked around And all I saw was your back As you walk away I told myself that it didn't matter I said I didn't care I was lying But you... You really didn't care. I built a wall Brick-by-brick To hide my shattered, broken self I thought I would be ok That I was safe There was no way anything Could come through But come it did Not even a year had passed When all my grief and anger Leaked into the cracks They blew ap

A knife in the heart A wrench in the stomach I feel this every day My eyes are burning, My nose, running Most of the time I can force it down and back So all I feel is continual numbness Those are my good days That are never really ok Then there are the days Where my wall cracks And I'm overwhelmed I want nothing more Than to cuddle you close And kiss your warm, soft cheek I love you so much That not having you here Kills me slowly, Everyday of the year I can't be with you Your sisters need me But you never leave my thoughts Or my heart My happy, lost little boy